pleasure stacking, the French Revolution, and learning to shabbat

I have a confession to make...

Recently, I have started taking naps when my kids do each afternoon.

***Cue me cringing at what you are thinking.***

As I type this, I am mildly afraid that I will be judged. I know the old saying...Sleep when your baby sleeps... But for some reason I feel like that right is reserved for new mommas or moms with newborns. My almost 16 pound tank of a 4 month old no longer fits that title I am afraid.

None the less, I feel guilt for taking this daily siesta. Why? Because I feel like I am wasting time. I feel like I will be deemed lazy. I feel like I should be doing something. Cleaning the kitchen. Folding laundry. Vacuuming. Doing the dishes. Preparing some fancy Valentine's Day activity for my kids. Meal prepping. Cleaning the bathroom. Writing a new blog post. I could keep going but I want to get this written so, you know, I can get in my nap before the little rascals wake up...

I literally have a sweatshirt that reads...Jesus took naps, be like Jesus...to ease the guilt trip I put on myself. This is referencing the story from Luke 8 where Jesus was snoozing in the fishing boat while the disciples were freakin' out during a storm.

Let me say that again, Jesus was napping...Girl, his to do list had waaaaaay more impactful, life-giving things on it than mine does! And HE took a nap!

But before I get to far ahead of myself...let's go back to the garden. Where, if Adam and Eve had hashtags, #takeanapmomma would have been trending.

God Rested

If you grew up in the church or know even a tiny bit about the greatest story ever told, then you know the story of Creation. How God created the night and day, sea and sky, plants and animals, man and woman in six days and then rested on the seventh. Old Testament followers of the Lord kept this seventh day sacred. However, somewhere along the lines we got too busy, too over scheduled, too anxious at even the thought of "losing a whole day" (I put that in quotes AND italic because we will discuss later that this could not be further than the truth), or thought this was too legalistic, too old fashioned, too churchy and the idea of a day of rest was abandoned all together.

But why? We are told in Mark chapter 2 that...

The Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath.

Read that first part again.

The Sabbath was made for man...

Another word for Sabbath translated in Hebrew is Shabbat. Shabbat literally means "stop".

Stop the hustle. Stop the grind. Stop achieving. Stop comparing. Stop wanting. Just stop and rest. And God modeled this for us in the first book of the Bible.

God rested.

But I am a full time mom of three. I do all the cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping for my family. How can I stop?

No did you hear me...God rested.

But I have a mound of laundry to fold, garden that needs tending, and I need to run the kids to {you fill in the blank}. When do I have time to rest?

Seriously...I don't think you fully understand...God rested.

God did not rest because he was tired. He rested because in his stopping he was able to delight in what he had created.

God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy.

We can read about God blessing mankind, Noah, Abraham, and many other significant figures from the Bible...but a day? God blessed a day? Why? Because he knew we needed it. He knew that resting for a day has the capability to be life giving. He knew our human bodies could not do what they were designed to do without rest.

Case and Point

In 1793 the French switched to what they called French Revolutionary Time. With this change came a 10 day work week. They thought this would sky rocket productivity and their country would end up leaps and bounds above the world. But as you can guess (since you probably never even knew this happened) it didn't. You know what did happen? The economy crashed, the suicide rate increased, and productivity...surprise, surprise...went down.

They tried but they could not outwit God. They could not rid themselves of the six on and one off rhythm. Our bodies need rest. We were designed for it. It is literally laced into our DNA through creation.

Need more proof? Go and Google hurry sickness. Better yet, just follow this link.

Hurry sickness is defined by physiologist as

...a behavior pattern characterized by continual rushing and anxiousness; an overwhelming and continual sense of urgency.

Don't think that describes nearly all of us these days?

Take this quiz....

Do you...

• Move from one check-out line to another because it looks shorter/faster?

• Count the cars in front of you and either getting in the lane that has the least or is going the fastest?

• Multi-task to the point of forgetting one of the tasks?

• Accidentally putting your clothes on inside-out or backwards?

• Sleep in your daytime clothes to save time in the morning?

I don't know about you but I scored a 3/5 and in this case, that is not a passing grade.

Side effects that I have experienced...and maybe you have too...

• high stress levels

• declining quality of work

• tiredness

• eventually serious health problems

We are chronically in a hurry. And something needs to give. Either we give in and finally settle into the work six, rest one model our creator designed for us OR our limited, earthy bodies make us slow down...be it by health issues or burn out...OR God puts his foot down and forces us all to stop........ahem......like what has been happening in our world for almost a year now.

It's more than just stopping

Taking a day of rest is more than just stopping. I can stop what I am doing physically and still be anxious on the inside. No, it's as much about external ceasing as it is an internal break.

Almost everything we consume today is designed to leave us wanting. Just scrolling social media, reading a magazine, or flipping through the channels on your TV can leave you dreaming of a bathroom remodel, wanting to buy a cat or adding on to the house or building a gym in your basement. It can make you feel like you aren't living unless you've traveled to all 50 states, signed up for that cooking class, tasted all the ethnic food your city has to offer....you get the idea here. And while none of this is bad, it all leaves us wanting something more.

Where is the contentment? Where is the happiness in where we are and what we have right now?

Our souls are programed to desire. Often, because we are fallible human beings, we try to fill this desire with worldly things. But the problem is that no matter how much we have, how many experiences we get, that desire will never be filled. We will never have enough shoes, clothes, stamps in our passports, decor in our homes to fill the void that only God can fill.

So...we take one day a week to stop wanting. As John Mark Comer writes...

Don't buy. Don't sell. Don't shop. Don't surf the web. Don't read a magazine: ooh, that bathtub would be nice upstairs...Just put all that away and enjoy. Drink deeply from the well of ordinary life: a meal with friends, time with family, a walk in the forest, afternoon tea. Above all, slow down long enough to enjoy life with God, who offers everything that materialism promises but can never deliver on - namely, contentment.

How to Shabbat

The Hebrew word Shabbat literally means stop, as I mentioned before but there is another element to this day that I have grown to love...delight. God took the 7th day to delight in what he had done. On Sabbath, we can delight in what we are given.

So, how do we stop and delight? Pleasure stacking. Sounds weird, I know but hear me out. Think of your ideal day...sleeping in, a mound of pancakes for breakfast, snuggling up next to the fire, reading a book, going to a long walk, making homemade cookies, playing board games with the kids... Pleasure stacking is putting all the things you love into a day. We all have that thing we look forward to each week. Design your Sabbath so it is the highlight of your week. Design it in a way that helps you delight in the life you are given, brings you closer to your family, and most importantly closer to God.

This is how it was described to me that made me fall hook, line, and sinker for this spiritual practice. It helped me realize that Sabbath does not need to be some legalistic, rule ridden day where you lay on the couch and cannot do anything (however that does sounds kind of nice)...because with kids, I'll be honest, what I thought Sabbath was supposed to be seemed impossible.

One thing I didn't mention above is that Sabbath should be like Christmas once a week. Yes...I am being serious. Sabbath is a holy day. Where do you think the word holiday came from? So on holidays you do things you love. We also don't just throw away a holiday just because one year Aunt Karen burnt the apple crisp and the twins puked all over grandmas couch and the next week the flu bug hit the whoooole family. What I mean is, you don't stop celebrating Christmas just because one year it was an epic fail. You just try again next year! The beauty of Shabbat is that we get an opportunity to tweak it to fit our family every week.

But like I always say, I do NOT have it all figured out...here are some examples on how we have started implementing Shabbat into our rhythm of life.

• We worship together. We Sabbath on Sunday so this of course involves weekly 10 am mass. But we also have started to set aside at least 30 minutes in the morning before church to pre-read the scripture that will be read during mass. This usually looks like Ryan or I skimming the readings and then finding a matching version in the kids' Jesus Storybook Bibles. (I wish I was a little more organized and would do this before hand...but baby steps here!) Then we sit with the kids while we read and talk about what Father will be preaching. It is especially rewarding when the kids perk up during mass saying, "Father is talking about Noah! We just talking about him too!". Making us think....Oh wow! You are somewhat listening to Father while chomping away on veggie straws and doodling in your notebooks! This practice helps us get more from church too because as I have written about before, juggling 3 kids takes most of my energy leaving very little left for paying much attention.

• We limit Screen Time. I actually turn my phone off for the day because I know that I will sneak a peek for no reason. Ryan keeps his on because we don't have a landline. But he does turn off all alerts. The only use of the phone is for calls and texts from family.

• We make a big family breakfast. I grew up loving breakfast when my dad would cook all the fixings. So we go all out....we get yummy juice, bacon or sausage links, eggs, pancakes or French toast. The kids have grown to love this time together!

• We get outside. What better way to delight in the Lord's creation than to be immersed into it? We go on adventures in the woods...build forts...go for long walks... We love getting the kids outside and teaching them to enjoy the outdoors as much as we do.

• We rest. Family nap time is a must. One Sabbath we tried making it a "no nap day" (as the kids like to call it) because Ryan and I wanted to spend some extra time with the kids..major fail. Everyone was tired and crabby. We won't make that mistake again.

• We don't buy anything. This might seem kind of odd but this plays right into the delight attribute of Shabbat. We delight in all that we have right now. We are fortunate enough that we really don't need anything. We might want many things...but our needs are all met. Delighting in what we already have fills us up and lets us see that we truly can live without {fill in the blank with whatever you have sitting in your Amazon cart}.

• We hide the to do list. With a young and growing family, this takes some major prep and planning. For example, I don't do laundry on this day. Since we cloth diaper our kids this means I have to plan ahead a day or so to make sure we can make it until Monday without doing laundry. I also don't meal prep or grocery shop so those tasks have shifted back to Friday. This one practice alone has lifted so much pressure off of my Sundays!

• We (Ryan and I) spend some time (semi)alone together. Lately the two older kids have been wanting to ride home with grandma and grandpa after church. This has become a little bit of a ritual. Our youngest is usually asleep by the end of mass so Ryan and I get a little bit of time to just talk...without a toddler meltdown or request or random observation...Mom! There's a picture of ice cream in this book. Remember when we went to the Big Cow in summer? Let's do that again. It's not for very long, but it is enough to be noticed. It's just long enough to feel connected after a busy week.

• We slow down. We don't have a set schedule for the day. We don't rush the kids from here to there. We accept when things take longer than expected. Our 4 month old wants to nurse a little longer but there are still dishes from lunch out...I take a deep breath, glance down, and soak up the little miracle in front of me. Most of all, I remember how patient Jesus is with me...I am a sinner but he loves me anyway. I try to have that same peace, grace, and understanding for others.

I cannot tell you how life giving these few practices have been. I feel like I have gained a day. I no longer dread Sunday as being a pre-Monday....you know the feeling right?? Sunday used to be just a whole day of getting ready for the week to come. It has now turned into almost an extra day. No seriously...I cannot explain the feeling but it really feels like we have one more day to the weekend.

Remember when I wrote at the beginning that it is a common misconception that in Sabbath we lose a day? I hope I have convinced you to maybe reconsider. If I haven't...let me try one last effort. There is a religious group of people called the Seventh-Day Adventist. This group is serious about Sabbath. Studies have been done on their life span compared to the general population. Wanna know what they found? This group lived almost 10 years longer than their neighbors. Wanna know what a life time of Sabbath rest adds up to be? Approximately 10 years. Of course there could be other attributing factors but it is not wildly out of reach to assume that resting our body, mind, and soul for a day has massive benefits.

We all seek rest. If you ask any mom (or dad) a simple "Hey how's it goin'?" a common answer is "Great! Just busy. I wish we had one more day in the week!" or "We're doing well. I'm just trying to keep up with the kids!" We can all acknowledge that life can be hectic and exhausting...and we know that adding more time is not an option.

So why not try slowing down? What do you have to lose? Why are we so afraid of resting and delighting for a day? I'll admit that it takes trust to stop for a day. The FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) syndrome is deeeeep in our culture but there is another way. Trusting in the Lord's sovereignty. Trusting that everything will get done even if I take a break. Trusting that most everything on my To Do list can wait a day. Trusting that your email, your Facebook messages, your Instagram story can wait. Trusting that the Lord will provide and that his time is perfect.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God... Romans 8:28

As always, remember, I do not have it all together. If we are honest, none of us do.

But, God does. Walk with Him.

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Something We Are Loving Right Now!

I find that having music on for the kids during the day helps them calm down when they are feel antsy. Being cooped up during these last weeks because of the bitter cold has been so hard on our outdoor loving family! We recently discovered (through a good friend) the musical albums called Rain for Roots. They are geared towards children but not in the annoying Baby Shark sort of way. They are filled with scripture truths sung in catchy tunes. I have it playing in the background most days and it warms my heart when the kids start singing the songs through out the day. They are learning the Gospel through song. Even if they do not fully understand today, we are helping equip them for the future!