band-aids, screen time, and prayer

I have a confession to make...since our little Abe has been born, my screen time has skyrocketed. It is my band-aid...well that and warm chocolate cookies fresh out of the oven.

You might be wondering...what do you mean it's your band-aid? Allow me to explain.

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Being a stay-at-home momma leaves my mind and body weary, especially since adding a newborn to our little tribe. I'm lacking in patience, short on sleep, and low on energy. These are my daily internal battles...my wounds...trying to keep my calm when the little people around me have big emotions. Taking a quick peek at my Facebook feed has been my band-aid. If I get the opportunity, I take a mental break to scroll and just check out of my current situation. When I am feeling frustrated with my circumstances...like my husband having to work a long day, the older two kids bickering, or maybe the day has just not gone the way I wanted it to go...I want to indulge in something that is just for me. I throw myself a little pity party...telling myself, "You deserve a break!" and I surrender to my phone.

I scroll Facebook instead of interacting with my kiddos or I start searching Mercari for something that I really don't need or check my email for the 10th time in thirty minutes. And let me just add that since leaving my professional career, I get maybe 5 emails a week so it is completely unnecessary to check my inbox this many times!

Whatever I do, it typically has me feeling more guilt than actual healing after the fact. To make matters worse, when I look at my screen time for the day only to see I've been on my phone for 2 hours already and it's only noon, I am quick to start the negative self-talk that only damages me further. Leading me to need more band-aids to heal this self-inflicted wound.

A band-aid doesn't cure whatever is festering under it but it does shield it from the world.

That is just what I am doing. I grossly indulge in my screen when what I should be doing is turning to Jesus for strength and encouragement. Turning to Him for true healing.

Maybe your band-aid isn't your screen.

Maybe your band-aid is a secret snack cupboard or an expensive coffee drink you travel way too far to have.

Maybe you indulge in your work because let's face it, I often feel much more productive with my work than I do trying to train our 2.5-year-old to poop on the potty. At least with my work, I am in control of checking tasks off my to-do list, trying to get inside the mind of a 2-year-old and figure out what will motivate her to stop pooping in her pull-up is a monumental task in comparison. A task we have been struggling with for weeks to check off. (Any and all advice is welcome!)

Maybe your band-aid is having a few too many glasses of wine at dinner.

Maybe it's going to the gym or the salon.

Let me follow up by saying there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these activities, it is our heart-attitude behind them that is cause for analysis. It is when we run to these instead of to Christ that is cause for concern. When we use these things as band-aids for our gushing wounds when we really need stitches of the Lord's healing.

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Every mom everywhere has gone through challenging times in her life, how she copes with them can either strengthen or hinder her relationship with the Lord. Instead of indulging in fleeting desires that can only satisfy me for a moment, I need to turn to the true source of strength. I need to turn my eyes toward the thone and seek help from my creator. Only when we approach Jesus with our tail between our legs saying, "I cannot do this alone..." are we able to be saved, only he can heal us...not our worldly band-aids.

It's funny, I wrote a whole blog post last year about how "I am enough". I am sure you have heard that language before. It is meant to be uplifting and help people see that you don't have to be all things to everyone all the time...that how you are right now is enough. I preached that to myself for a long time but for whatever reason, it never brought lasting peace to my heart. Then one day I realized why. I was listening to the audiobook Jesus Over Everything and in it, the author Lisa Whittle writes that we are not enough. We will never be enough for this world. But we are loved enough by Jesus that it doesn't matter.

This gave my heart instant peace.

Jesus loves me enough that I can come to him, completely paralyzed by my circumstances and he will heal me. Just as in Mark 2 when the paralytic man was dropped through the ceiling with hopes of being healed on the outside by Jesus. Only to also be healed on the inside which is the only true healing needed. Jesus saw him and loved him. Jesus saw that this man had absolutely nothing left but to trust that only HE could heal him.

We are like Naaman in the 2 Kings story. We think that in order to be healed of wounds, we need some grand gesture. He was told to simply wash in the river and his leprosy would be healed. How could something so simple actually work? We don't want to think that simply trusting in the Lord to help us in a time of need will work...that seems too easy.

So we try to take matters into our own hands.

Naaman was told to go to the prophet Elisha to be healed. But Naaman was a great and mighty man...so he decided to throw aside the advice from a simple prophet and go straight to the King of Israel. Naaman tried to take the situation into his own hands only to be turned away by the King. It wasn't until he submitted to the will of the Lord that he was healed. And by something as simple as washing in a seemingly dirty river.

I often feel that way about prayer.

How could opening my heart to the Lord possibly make my situation better? I'd rather have a caramel macchiato from the nearest Starbucks to mend my heart, thaaaank you! But I know that feeling of relief will leave when my 20 ounces of warm deliciousness is gone. Then I will be as empty as the cup in my hand once again.

Have you ever told someone... "Sending my prayers!"...during a time when they were in need but you were left feeling like you needed to do something more? It's an absurd thing to feel if you really think about it. Prayer is the most powerful weapon we have been armed with. Yet, we all seem to take it for granted. Just because it can be done while lying in bed, does not make it less impactful. Prayer feels sedentary which goes against our cultural desire to always be doing something. Praying through a rough day (or many days) is how we can make real heart changes that actually help us get closer to the person God wants us to be.

Our creator has a plan for our lives. The person I am today had to be molded through many hard, hard days. Days I did not think I could possibly make it through. It can be challenging to see at the moment but those trials you are facing right now, if you lean on the Lord for guidance they can bring us towards a better tomorrow. No amount of scrolling through Facebook could ever do that.

Only the Lord can heal our gaping wounds of the heart.

Only prayer has the power to create everlasting heart change. The best and truest kind of healing.

Remember I do not have this. And neither do you.

But, God does.

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Something We Are Loving Right Now!

In the business of motherhood, stopping to eat a full meal is a challenge. Sitting down to eat is about as rare as seeing a butterfly in the middle of a Wisconsin snowstorm...basically impossible. So I resort to snacking...for me snacking looks like something that tastes good and I can eat with one hand, preferably in one bit so it doesn't get snatched up by my 4 or 2-year-old. Something I am LOVING right now (and need to make more of) is these peanut butter bites. They are AMAZING! There are a lot of recipes out there but here is my simple twist that is quick and easy.

Peanut Butter Bite Recipe

2 cups oats

1 cup peanut butter

1/2 cup flax

1/4 cup chia seeds

swirl of honey

Mix well. If it feels too dry add more PB or honey. This is very much a guess recipe for me. When I make them I really don't measure (because I don't have much time typically!) You really can't mess them up. When you get them to the texture you want, roll them up into bite-size balls, put them on a tray, and either freeze for later or put them in the fridge.

You can also add chocolate chips, protein powder, bits of nuts, cranberries, or whatever else you think sounds yummy!

***Tip: When I am rolling them into balls, I wet my hands frequently with a little water. This keeps the mixture from sticking to your hands.