stale crackers, mom-bods, and King Solomon

Keelie Schroeder
Oct 23, 2020
7 min read

Motherhood is exhausting. Period.

Like running a marathon uphill in the blistering heat of summer...while pushing a double stroller with a 40-pound preschooler and 20-pound toddler...exhausting.

You're tired.

You could use a long shower.

And you find yourself counting down the miles (minutes) until you can finally rest (thank goodness for naptime).

Did I mention you could use a shower?

It can cause even the strongest of momma bears to crumble like the crackers under her couch. Stale. Ground deep into the carpet. Feeling long forgotten, only to be swept up by the whirlwind of the vacuum we call life. Weary is her sleep-deprived soul, yet on the outside, she manages to paint a different picture. Tidy home. Trendy outfits. Pinterest worthy meals served with a smile. She looks as put together as the jigsaw puzzle at your nana's house, every piece fits just as it should, nothing out of place. Some call this momma "super-mom". We worship her ability to get it all done, meet everyone's needs all while still having time to curl her hair, and paint her nails.

Why do we do this?

Put pretty over real? What monster started this trend of faking it on the outside despite how crumbled we feel on the inside? It creates anxious hearts and destructive thoughts. It's unsustainable. Period. And it does not glorify our creator but rather exposes our worldly ambitions and need for approval from the moms who follow our IG account.

Putting pretty over real is how the world says we need to function in order to be liked by everyone. That's why we do it right? We put our filtered selves out there so others see a rosy version of our reality because we think they couldn't possibly handle the real us...flaws and scars exposed.

If they found out that I let me kids watch an hour of tv cartoons...then they would think I am a bad mom.

If they saw the stretch marks on my belly, boobs, thighs...they would be disgusted.

If they knew I fed my kids chicken nuggets and fruit from a can for supper...they would think less of me.

If they saw the mountains of clean and dirty laundry...

If...add in your own motherhood secrets you choose not to share with the world.

The list goes on...fill in the blank and there has been a mom who has felt that shame probably more than once a day. So we hide it, we don't talk about it and we sure as heck don't post about it on social media...those posts are for when we do motherhood "right".

Well, I'm done.

I quit. I refuse to play into this facade any longer. Why? Well, other than the fact that my life is so far from what the world would consider perfect, I cannot even fake it...I know in my heart where my true hope lies. Not in the number of followers or likes I can accumulate. Not in how I decorate my house or landscape my yard. Not in how low I can get my scale to read. Not in how quickly I can "look like I didn't even have a baby" (gotta love that one as a newly postpartum momma, read this post if you need some lifting up in that area). Not in anything I can put in my Amazon cart. Not in how pretty of a meal I can serve my family.

My hope is in God. -1 Peter 1:21

Over focusing on how we are viewed by our friends, family, and fellow mommas...causes us to spend ridiculous amounts of time and energy on things of this world that as the author of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon, would say are "futile". And this man knew a thing or two about having everything the world says should make you happy. He had every tangible desire he could dream of, everything about his life was beautiful and put together from an outsiders view, yet he did not find happiness in any of it.

I increased my achievements. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made gardens and parks for myself and planted every kind of fruit tree in them. I constructed reservoirs for myself from which to irrigate a grove of flourishing trees. I acquired male and female servants and had slaves who were born in my house. I also owned livestock—large herds and flocks—more than all who were before me in Jerusalem. I also amassed silver and gold for myself and the treasure of kings and provinces. I gathered male and female singers for myself, and many concubines, the delights of men. So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem; my wisdom also remained with me. All that my eyes desired, I did not deny them. I did not refuse myself any pleasure, for I took pleasure in all my struggles. This was my reward for all my struggles. When I considered all that I had accomplished and what I had labored to achieve, I found everything to be futile and a pursuit of the wind. There was nothing to be gained under the sun. -Ecclesiastes 2:4-11

Be You.

Remember back to the garden...where it all started? The account of creation explicitly states after each of the Lord's miraculous designs, how good what he created was. So when your (and I am preachin' all of this to myself daily too my friends) brains starts down a path that can only lead to the thistles of doubt and wavering self-confidence...remember the same God who made the mountains, sea, sky, and Big Muddy ice cream (so good...do yourself a favor and pick up a pint!)...created y o u. He thought this world could be made better by adding you to it. The real you.

You cannot fulfill his mission unless you are willing to accept the path he has given you. My path, as I can see it now, is to live a humble life as a wife and a mom of three. I can glorify God by waking 3 or 4 or 7 times a night to change diapers, nurse my newborn, and snuggle him to sleep. I can exalt my creator by doing endless loads of laundry yet walking around with a milk-soaked chest (gotta love the early stages of establishing milk supply...hello let-down reflex!) and spit up crusted shoulders. I can walk in my struggles daily because I know that through them, he is sharpening me. Through the seemingly mundane trials of motherhood, the Lord is continuously sanctifying me. If I choose not to acknowledge this process, I am not becoming who he has made me to be.

Hi, I'm Keelie...

Our house is constantly a mess.

We could definitely stand to eat more veggies with our meals.

I should pull out the old flowers that are dead in my front flower bed and are less than attractive.

My stretch marks make me feel less than sexy.

I cry easily and often...especially after having babies.

And my son reminds me daily that although my belly is still big, I no longer have a baby in me. ( thanks man...face-palm)

I tend to lose my patience when there is whining, untruths, and bickering happening around me.

Ladies, I am writing this after a less than perfect day. Writing helps bring my heart back to God when my head just wants to sulk in whatever I am going through. At the start of this post, I was drying tears that I cried on my way home from an emotional day...thank you postpartum hormones. Every word that is written on this page, I believe with my whole heart.

I know that outside material objects cannot make me happy.

I know that comparing my situation to others will only cause me to live in a shadow of my true life, unable to see all of the blessings all around me.

But when the fear of being "less than" take over my brain, I need to reach for the word of God and preach the Gospel to myself. That is the only way I know how to beat him...the devil that is. He is the one putting those thoughts into my head. He is the one telling me I will always be less than until I give in to whatever the world says I need to be.

So what now?

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30

Do you know why I feel so laden and overwhelmed with all that is required of motherhood?

Because I am not God.

I cannot fulfill every need presented to me in a day. And that is okay. When I walk in this truth is when I can be myself and accept all that my creator has made me to be. So rest momma, you alone are not enough...but God is. Run to him.

See you soon friend!

Remember I do not have this. And neither do you.

But, God does.

Something We Are Loving Right Now!

In the craziness of motherhood, finding time to consistently be in the Word is difficult. I am also the type of person who is more likely to be on top of something when there is a community of people around me holding me accountable. That is why I love the She Reads Truth reading plans. I love that not only do they provide excellent Bible study plans with devotionals to go along with each day, but they also have a podcast! On the podcast, Amanda and Rachel talk about the week's readings and work through the tough passages. It is an incredible resource and has not only helped me read more of the Bible but I get so much more out of it. You can order the reading plans via a beautifully curated study book or read along in the She Reads Truth app. Either way, you choose to follow along, I promise you will not regret it and it will bring you closer to our Heavenly Father.

Happy Reading!